“Unhinged” isn’t a new way of describing someone’s odd or reckless behavior. It’s just that the word recently has bounded into the spotlight, especially within the broad context of the Trump administration.
And yet for someone to be unhinged presupposes they once were, well, hinged…as in, securely attached to common sense, clear focus, and purposeful action. If Rudy Giuliani ever owned those qualities, they have long since disappeared.
So that got me thinking about just how ridiculous the former mayor of New York might sound if he just let it rip without regard to the potential for correction or criticism. Here then is a pseudo but nearly plausible conversation between Jake Clapper of CNN and the Rude-ster.
Clapper: Thanks for joining me on set, Mr. Giuliani.
Giuliani: My pleasure, Jake. Always good to see you.
Clapper: Let me get right to the point. A month ago, you said in a recorded interview on ABC that the president did not ask former FBI Director James Comey to let the Michael Flynn investigation go. You said that the president asked Comey to go easy on Flynn. Now you’re saying the president and Comey never even discussed the Michael Flynn matter?
Giuliani: Uh, sure, I guess so.
Clapper: With all due respect, sir, which is it?
Giuliani: Which is what?
Clapper: Which version of the alleged Trump and Comey conversation do you want us to believe?
Giuliani: Great question, Jake. I bet you have a lot more where that came from.
Clapper: I do, sir, but I’d first like you to answer the question before you.
Giuliani: Well, before me there was David Dinkins, and a fine job he did in removing wild penguins from Upper East Side neighborhoods.
Clapper: Are you saying New York once had a penguin infestation?
Giuliani: Come on, Jake, who in their right mind would say such a thing? Hoboken, yes, but never New York!
Clapper: Okay, then, let’s move on to a different topic, and that’s whether or not the president is, in fact, a racist as his critics claim.
Giuliani: The president never even owned a go kart, let alone raced one. So I’ll have to say “no.”
Clapper: Just one more question, Mr. Mayor. Do you prefer bananas or saw dust on your cereal?
Giuliani: We’ll have to let the Supreme Court rule on that one.
The reporter later was heard muttering to himself in a locked CNN broom closet.