A New Holiday Classic?

Everyone knows the story of “The Grinch Who Stole Christmas.” And yet, just in case you needed a little reminding, a new animated version has just opened in movie theaters across the land.

It’s a great story written by a genius and, in my opinion, no movie or play could ever top it. It’s inherent creativity, in every aspect, makes it a singular literary accomplishment.

Still, what if the Grinch character wasn’t simply the invention of a fertile mind, but fashioned after a real-life person? Who in Whoville might such a person have been? How would the public have received him? Would an icy heart, two sizes two small, still grow and blossom and become ten feet tall?

It’s a concept worth exploring, don’t you think?

“Maximus Cheatham and the North Pole”

There was a developer sharp as a tack
Who flourished in real estate, he had quite the knack

To make gobs of money he scammed and wheeled
He fashioned himself a tycoon, a big deal

But to those who help make him both morning and night
They found his behavior a mean-spirited fright

He’d bully designers, make his artisans crawl
To local small claims court in the spring and the fall

Just hoping for payment, a farthing or two
To brighten the Christmas of their Timmy and Sue

The developer’s name lest your worry or wonder
Was Maximus Cheatham, the king of the plunder

A pure lust for glory did help Maximum grow
His collection of condos, his enormous cash flow

But mean Mr. Cheatham still was not happy yet
He wanted that something that no one could get

It was bright, clear and shiny, awash in the glow
Of the true Christmas spirit and fresh fallen snow

Some called it the North Pole, some called it the home
Of Santa, his reindeer, location unknown

Maximus Cheatham, he spoke loud and clear
“I must have the North Pole right now, is that clear?”

But quicker than quick, in a flash, just like that
Appeared a young girl in a coat and a hat

So frightened was Cheatham, he picked up the phone
“I must call for help”, lest I’m left on my own

“Security, get here at once, on the double
I sense something evil, a large dose of trouble”

“Fear not, Mr. Cheatham, I’ve not come here to steal
My motive is simply to strike up the a deal”

“I’m listening child, but please make this quick
It’s almost that time to evict old St. Nick”

“Alright, then, I’ll speak,” the girl said with a wink
“It’s better I’m sure than you might dare to think

“Give up on the North Pole, admit that you erred
Tell Santa ‘Rest easy,’ for I am prepared…

“To leave you alone, never trouble you more
And give you a gift I know you’ll adore

“This whole Russia thing will be gone in a wink
Mueller, his team they’ll end up in the clink

“But first you must tell me that each word is true
Of obstruction, collusion, to name just a few”

“Never mind, my dear child, let’s just shake on our deal
For nervous and fearful I still truly feel”

Just then the young girl she removed her plaid cloak
She laughed like a demon and said “It’s a joke!

“I’m Nancy Pelosi, she uttered and pulled off her mask
And now it’s my pleasure to take you to task

“Purchase the North Pole for you own greedy pleasure?
And deprive me this moment that forever I’ll treasure?

“Now dash away, dash away, Cheatham, you creep
You’ll be locked in jail with not one moment’s sleep.”

Along came the sheriff, the full force of the law
And dragged away Cheatham who started to bawl

The lesson, dear reader, it’s as plain as the day
No one escapes justice, in the end all must pay.

The End